Modesty: My Story & What The Bible Says About It

There was a time I never really thought too much about modesty. But as I grew in my relationship with Christ, I began to ask a simple question I hadn’t asked before:

“Is how I dress honoring God?”

That question changed everything.

For me, modesty became a personal conviction—not because someone handed me a rulebook, but because the Holy Spirit began softening my heart toward it.

In this post, I want to share my modesty journey—how the Lord led me to dress differently, what Scripture says about it, and how I’ve learned to find peace and purpose in being set apart when it comes to modesty.

My Story

For the first ten years of my life, my mom picked out my outfits. Being raised in a Christian family, of course, my clothes were always modest and child-appropriate. We were only allowed to wear clothing like one-piece swimsuits, and we couldn’t wear tops or dresses with cut-off shoulders—even if they had straps. Simple and makes sense.

I was involved in dance and cheerleading between kindergarten and the third grade, and I loved wearing girly things like dresses, bows, and anything pink and sparkly.

After I turned 10, I started playing basketball. My mom had been a jock in high school and was a true-blue tomboy. I looked up to her and wanted to be just like her, so I traded in dresses and pink for baggy gym shorts and the color blue. I began to fully embrace a tomboy lifestyle to make my mom “proud” of me. At the time, I felt like I was too different compared to my family, because they would lightly joke about how I was into more girly clothing and activities like dancing, cheerleading, and singing when the rest of the family was heavily involved with sports. Even though most days I acted like it didn't bother me, deep down it made me upset and insecure.

Over the next few years, I realized that the heart behind my clothing wasn’t very godly. I began wearing boys’ gym shorts, athletic shirts, and even masculine shoes and wristwatches. Ironically, I was still in dance, but I hated wearing makeup for recitals and avoided anything else that made me feel “girly.”

Now, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being a tomboy, but in my case, I was denying my God-given femininity, and my clothing was rooted in my insecurity.

Even though I dressed like a tomboy until I was 15, my first conviction happened when I was 13. I had seen Christian women talk about modesty and femininity—reciting scripture as the reason behind their choices. At one point, I tried wearing skirts and dresses at home, but each time I gave up after a few days. It just didn’t suit my active lifestyle, and I felt awkward in public. That’s when I knew I had completely denied my femininity: I couldn’t even wear a dress in public without feeling completely uncomfortable.

When I turned 16, I started dressing a little more femininely—but I was copying my younger sister and wearing short shorts and tighter tops like most girls our age. I felt slightly more feminine, but still uncomfortable. Something didn’t feel right. I wasn’t dressing masculine anymore, but I also knew dressing in clothing that showed every curve on my body didn’t honor the Lord either.

So finally, when I turned 17, I decided to pursue both femininity and modesty. I committed to wearing skirts and dresses again and gave it a real try this time.

And over the next few months, I noticed something:

• I no longer felt insecure or uncomfortable

• My behavior and speech became more feminine and graceful

• I received more compliments (and they felt genuine)

• I no longer saw other feminine women as competition

• I stopped trying to be similar to men altogether

As of today, I still wear skirts and dresses full-time, because that’s what helps me feel the most feminine and modest. Most importantly, I feel closer to the Lord than ever before—not because of my clothing, but because I’m no longer insecure or denying the woman He created me to be.

It didn’t come without challenges. My family made fun of me at first, but now they’ve accepted it and are used to seeing me dress this way.

What the Bible Says About Modesty

“And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.”

— 1 Timothy 2:9–10 (NLT)

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

— 1 Peter 3:3–4 (NLT)

These scriptures show that modesty is more than just what we wear—it’s about the heart.

God doesn’t want women to feel pressure to be attractive by worldly standards. He also doesn’t want us to obsess over appearance. True modesty is rooted in humility. When you dress modestly, you’re humbling yourself before God, not hiding yourself in shame.

Addressing Deuteronomy 22:5 & Exodus 28:42

“A woman must not put on men’s clothing, and a man must not wear women’s clothing. Anyone who does this is detestable in the sight of the Lord your God.”

— Deuteronomy 22:5 (NLT)

This verse is often taken out of context to claim that women should never wear pants. But historically, when this was written, men and women both wore robes or cloaks. What this verse is really about is crossdressing—blurring the God-given lines between male and female identity.

Even in modern times, I believe men and women should still visibly distinguish themselves, clothing included. I find it interesting today that women can wear both pants and skirts—but men can only wear pants and not skirts. The feminist movement that happened in the 60’s made “equality” the goal, which included their clothing, but God made men and women different on purpose.

“And you shall make for them linen trousers to cover their nakedness; they shall reach from the waist to the thighs.”

— Exodus 28:42 (NKJV)

I heard this scripture taken out of context from a teaching segment from a religious group that’s probably well known by now, thanks to the Duggars, called “The Institute of Basic Life Principles” or “IBLP”. They tried to claim that this verse says you shouldn't wear garments that don't cover up your thighs. What this verse is really about is emphasizing the importance of modesty and dignity for the priests who served in the Tabernacle, concerning their garments, even when they’re not in public view.

Again, while this scripture was taken out of context, there’s still some truth in it. Consider when Adam and Eve ate the fruit and discovered they were naked. In Genesis 3:7, they made loin coverings for themselves out of fig leaves. In Genesis 3:21, after they were banished from the garden, God gave them tunics made from animal skin and clothed them appropriately. This suggests that the Lord considers that clothing should completely cover us from our collarbone to our knees.

Modesty Is For Both Women AND Men

“Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.”

— Romans 14:13 (NIV)

Modesty isn’t just for women—it’s for men as well. Just as women are called to dress in a way that honors God, men should also be mindful of how they present themselves. That means avoiding clothing that is too tight or reveals too much, and they should wear loose and masculine clothing. It’s not true to say that women aren’t also tempted; temptation is a human struggle, not just a male one. As Christians, we are all called to dress in a way that pleases the Lord and helps protect the purity of others.

Common Misconceptions About Modesty

“Isn’t that legalistic?”

Modesty can become legalistic in these ways:

• overemphasis on certain dress codes

• shaming or judging others

• focus on external appearance over internal character

• cultural or personal references being imposed on others

• using modesty as a means of control

• neglecting the purpose of modesty

But true, Spirit-led modesty isn’t about controlling others or putting extreme limits on yourself—it’s about honoring God.

“Are you ashamed of your body?”

Not at all. I’m not hiding in shame—I’m choosing to dress in a way that reflects dignity, humility, and honor toward the Lord.

“Doesn’t modesty mean frumpy or outdated?”

Not even close! There are so many modest fashion options today that are cute, feminine, and comfortable.

Here are a few links to some of my favorite modest clothing shops:

• https://supercutedresses.com/

• https://salt-honey.com/

• https://mainstreetexchangeapparel.com/

• https://imshe.clothing/

• https://www.inheritco.com/

• https://jamieroseandco.com

• https://snogaathletics.com

• https://modlw.com/

You can also shop for more affordable modest clothing at places like thrift stores, Walmart, Target, or Amazon—just know what you’re looking for, and you’ll often find it!

My Personal Modesty Standards

These are my personal convictions—not universal rules. Everyone’s views on modesty are different, and these are simply the standards I’ve chosen for myself:

Tops/Dresses:

• Sleeves that cover my shoulders and armpits, and if not, I’ll layer with a jacket or cardigan

• Necklines no lower than the width of my hand from my collarbone, and if not, I’ll layer with a crop top underneath

• Shirt hemlines that reach to my hips or longer

• High back coverage

• Loose and flowy fabric

• Dresses knee-length or longer

Skirts/Pants:

• Loose and flowy fabric

• Knee-length or longer

• Athletic skirts with attached shorts or leggings for sports and working out

• I only wear loose pants underneath baggy coveralls (like for hunting or going out in the snow) because it’s more practical

Swimwear/Nightwear:

• High-neck, one-piece swimsuit with sleeves

• Swim skirt with attached shorts or capris

• Loose “granny” nightgowns for sleepwear

I avoid clothing like crop tops, bikinis, sleeveless or low-back shirts/dresses, leggings, jeans, shorts, and other tight or revealing items. The goal is full, respectful coverage—and a feminine style.

Reaffirmation & Encouragement

To wrap this up:

I choose modesty to glorify God, not to seek attention. Modesty is a conviction, not a checklist, so it’s different for everybody.

This journey has taught me so much about identity, obedience, and peace in Christ. It’s hard to dress modestly in a world that says we need to wear as little and tight of clothing as possible to be relevant and attractive, but that’s where my main message of living set apart comes in. We were born to stand out for Christ, not to blend in with the world.

So I encourage you—seek the Lord about your wardrobe. Don’t be worldly. Don’t be legalistic. Be faithful.

Live set apart. Walk in confidence. Honor the Lord in all you do—including how you dress.

God Bless You!

—Shelby Guffey